Monastery Day, attempt the first

Jan, when she was a parish pastor, used to make a regular practice of "Monastery Days"--days when she was outside her usual workspaces, reading and praying and studying and people-watching. I think she often had her Monastery Days at a Starbucks in a neighboring town.

I have decided that I need something like this if I'm ever going to think a thought all the way through. I have lots of days when I work from home, or from the Starbucks at the train station, or in my office...and all of those are good. But there's something about going elsewhere to read and think and pray that somehow makes things more clear.

So a friend/colleague and I agreed to try these, on the first Monday of each month. We wouldn't do it together, exactly--but we'd do it at the same time on the same day, to hold each other accountable to actually doing it.

Naturally, this first month we were to try it, I had a complication. Namely, that I'm supposed to be facilitating an adult education class on Monday nights. oops. (lol...you would think I would have learned to use a calendar by now!)
So I moved to Tuesday.

Tuesday was bright and sunny, with blue skies to offset the remaining brightly colored leaves as well as the stark empty oak branches. It was a gorgeous day to walk and sit and read and eat and ponder by a lake...so I went to Lake Geneva. The good ol' LG never lets me down (except that one time when Kilwin's was out of my favorite flavor of ice cream...omg).

In the long tradition of solvitur ambulando (it is solved by walking), I rambled along the lakefront path, looking at light playing on water, shadows of fish, enormous houses, changing leaves, and remnants of bygone days. I prayed and thought and spent some time clearing my mind while my body was moving. It was gorgeous.

The only not gorgeous part is that my right knee hurts like you would not believe.*

So my Monastery Day was interrupted, if you can call it that, by a trip to the doctor's office. I'd gotten a call in the morning that if I was willing to drive to Rockford, I could get in that day (filling a cancellation)...otherwise I would wait two weeks. I'm glad I went because I would really prefer to be walking and running without constantly thinking about how my knee hurts. I need that time to empty out and think about other stuff!

While I was walking, I decided to try to pay very close attention to details. This is usually not my strong suit, so I think it's a good practice for me to try for the next month. This is a time of year when things change rapidly, and it's easy to miss the little things.

I don't know that I solved anything while walking yesterday, except for some of the clutter in my mind and heart. I replaced that with beauty, at least for today.

the only piece left...

just a little lakefront cottage...with matching playhouse

the path

this may be one of my favorite photos ever. There's just something about it...

*really, you wouldn't believe it. My pain tolerance is *very* low, so it's entirely likely that if it was your knee, you wouldn't even feel it, while I am over here acting like I'm dying. I swear, it hurts a LOT. For me.

daydreaming of warm

With snow breaking down doors in upstate New York, and all 50 states seeing the below-freezing mark at the same time, and the ridiculous chill we've got going on here, I confess that my writing-muscles are frozen. I don't have anything much to say today besides this:

I wish I lived in San Diego.

Where I could see this every day if I wanted:

And where I could visit Mickey...

And generally not hibernate under the covers and the cats for a minimum of six months a year. I mean, I have the most comfortable bed, and the snuggliest cats, and the prettiest bedroom, but still. As much as I love this, I would rather it be 75 and sunny than -3 and gray.

the heater challenge

Every year I challenge myself not to turn on the heat until at least Halloween. If I can make it, I try for Thanksgiving.
This year it got cold very early, but I soldiered on with blankets and sweatshirts. It warmed up again, which was lovely--we had a little taste of Indian Summer. Now it's chilly again, with nights of frost. It's November 2 and I haven't had the heat on yet, though I do have the heated mattress pad on the bed. I have debated turning on the furnace, but now it feels like some kind of test. Some people run marathons, I see how long I can go without the heat on.

Bonus of not having the heat running: the cats want to snuggle more. They aren't cold (as evidenced by the fact that they are both sprawled out on the living room floor right now), but they do seem a little more motivated to sit on my feet, curl up on my lap, and wiggle under the covers at night. It's like a little happiness in the midst of the reality that Winter Is Coming.

So, if anyone else out there is still doing the no-heater challenge (because you have a seriously warped sense of self, environment, money, and perfectionism, like I do), here are a few tips:

1. have pets that like to snuggle.
2. have lots of blankets at the ready.
3. keep slippers next to any hard-floored rooms. For instance, mine are at the entrance to the kitchen. Because the barefoot transition from carpet to kitchen floor is the fastest way to send me back to bed in the morning.
4. get someone to gift you a rice bag. (or, you know, make one yourself.)
5. heated mattress pad. It's the best thing about winter. Maybe the only good thing, actually.
6. You'll need a touch of stubborn insanity.
7. Make sure the heater works in your car. You'll need it for the drive to work. ;-)
8. Take up baking. Or at least cooking that requires you to stand near the hot stove. Bonus: deliciousness.
9. Snuggies look stupid but are amazing. You want one, trust me.
10. stock up on herbal/fruit teas, so you can stay warm at night without the caffeine burst. This is my current favorite.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go crawl into my pre-heated bed, and see how many more days until the furnace is absolutely necessary. :-)

light

Winter in the upper midwest is dark.

Spring is not supposed to be, and we do have that whole Daylight Saving business (and I'll admit it's nice that it's light out when I leave work), but it this year it's been pretty cloudy-dark too. You know, what with all the snow that keeps falling all the freaking time.

But today as I was driving home, light broke through. And it was glorious! By the time I got home it was full-on sunny. At one point in the drive I was wishing for the ability to take photos and drive at the same time because there were totally god-rays coming down over a little pond....
And now I'm looking at a beautiful full moon out my window--so bright and clear it's lighting the night.

I got to drive toward the sunshine. aaaaaah...nice.

day 36 of Lent photo a day

shadow

okay, for the first (hopefully only) time this Lent, I'm going to use a photo I took at another time, rather than one I took today. My day was full of shadows, but none photographable. The shadows cast by candles in a sanctuary, by people walking a labyrinth, by bad behavior (whose shadows are always longer than good behavior--what is that about?), by doubt and by hope.

But today's photo is a reminder that though I may live in a frozen tundra, under feet and feet of snow, it's not so everywhere and won't always be so here...

Day 19 of Lent photo a day

lift

you probably need a lift to get to the top of the snow mountain I lifted out of the driveway this evening. And having done that, I don't need to lift weights tonight. :-)

for perspective you can see my car at the end there...

Day 12 of Lent photo-a-day

some tropical delicious for a strange spring day

Today, thanks to Door to Door Organics, I had a little Egypt flashback. When I first went to Egypt, one of the stranger and more wonderful things I encountered was the ubiquitous juice stand. You can always recognize it by the bags of fruit hanging out front, which will usually give you a clue about what's in season (and therefore what you can get). In the summer and early fall, mangos are in season.

Apparently in Peru, mangos are in season right now.

So...in my Door to Door Organics box last week were two delicious looking mangos. Now, every other time I've had mangos in the US they have been beyond disappointing. In fact, when I went to Egypt, I thought I didn't like them! But one slice into one of these mangos (after removing the Peru sticker) told me this was the real deal.

So...I had one of my favorite things: mango juice! I popped the flesh of the two mangos into a cup, put in some water, and whipped out the immersion blender...soon I was transported to one of the best parts of that year (the food!). :-) 16 ounces of fresh mango juice...unfortunately sans the fun juice man and his jokes (which are probably much funnier if your Arabic is better than mine ever was!)

Definitely a good thing on a day filled with some of my least favorite things: lightning, thunder, and rain. It's like sun in a cup!

And healthy too!

cat crazy

Today my cats are going crazy. It can't be just the wind (which is also crazy) because it was insanely windy yesterday and they weren't like this...something is up. Not sure what, but holy weird cats, batman!

Ollie has just raced through the house several times, followed by Andrew...and then Ollie hopped up onto the kitchen counter, top of the fridge, and onto the top of the cabinets, where she raced back and forth from wall to wall up at ceiling level. Meanwhile, Andrew is pacing the kitchen floor at about the same speed, because he can't jump that high. (heehee).

To top it off, Ollie is still slowly recovering from a sinus infection, which means that when she runs around you can hear her breathing through her still-kind-of-congested nose.

And now they are simultaneously stalking something on the balcony and each other.

Awesome.

And what does this mean? Are they sensing something coming? What is it??

Friday Five: winter essentials

Over at RGBP Kathryn writes:

I'm heading from unseasonably warm temperatures and no snow to a place of GREAT SNOW. Sadly, for reasons that don't need to be boringly laid out here, I am sans decent winter boots at the moment so I need to find some... NOW! In the meantime I am shaking my head at myself. How could I possibly be without one of the key essentials for living in my environment?
Every area is different. What are the 5 key essentials needed for where you live?

Well, I'm extrapolating that we mean winter essentials, because of course spring and summer require different essentials, at least around here.

For winter...

Scarves. Plenty of them. I may have been seen wearing more than one scarf at a time on occasion. You know, one that matches my outfit, and then one that's on the outside of my coat too, for extra warmth. (I may also be in possession of more scarves than outfits. so?)

Coat(s). I know Jesus says that anyone with two coats should give one away, but here you really do need different levels of coats. There's the windbreaker, the fleece, the rain coat, the jacket, the wool pea coat, and the serious puffy coat. Sometimes it is possible to wear these in combination.

Good Tires. Do not let your tires wear out and think "oh, I'll just get new ones in March."

Plenty of hot cocoa. I actually ran out of cocoa earlier this winter, and wondered how I had let this happen. It was exceedingly strange, because normally I stock up so I'm never stranded in my house without the opportunity to have a warm delicious beverage in the evening...

earmuffs. Yes, I pick earmuffs even over gloves. I don't wear hats very often (I have hair issues), but my ears get cold...and particularly if one is going into the city, where the wind whips around like crazy, earmuffs are fantastic because they keep your ears from freezing off AND they act like a headband keeping your hair from blowing in your face! I have earmuffs next to my door and on the shifter in my car, so I'm always prepared. :-)

and a sixth: car emergency kit. Okay, you need this in every season. But in winter dead batteries are more likely, and the importance of flares increases with snow or fog. My emergency kit is a black case that contains jumper cables, flares, flashlight, a bottle of water, some snacks, and a bunch of things you need to fix cars (tools and stuff). I also have a super warm blanket back there.

Now, to be clear, this winter has been so mild that I've only worn my earmuffs a few times, and have yet to double up the scarves. And though I stocked up on hot chocolate, I haven't needed it as often--I haven't once been stranded at home due to weather. Yet. Since winter here lasts practically until Memorial Day, there's still time.

A few non-essentials that really make winter a lot better?

Scraper and brush, for the car windows. or, if you have a van, a push broom in the back for getting the snow off. Though if you can't find yours, letting the car run until the windows defrost is also an option. It won't help your headlights being covered in snow though--you'll still have to brush those off, possibly with your bare hand if you can't find your gloves either. (what voice of experience???)

Heated mattress pad. This may be just about the best thing I've ever spent money on. I pre-heat my bed, then turn it off when I get in...so it's all warm and cozy when I slip between the covers. mmmm.....

Cat trained to sit on your feet. If you can make this happen, you're amazing. I have about a 20% success rate, between two cats. But when it does happen, omg awesome.

Reading up (through?) a Storm

So, the fact that I currently have about 20 books on hold at the library, 5 of which are available the next time I go (I tried to go tonight but...no power at the library) and 1 of which is currently in my possession but is a sequel to another book I own but haven't read yet, combined with the fact that I had an actual day off this weekend combined with the fact that the crazy crazy storm of craziness, with its 75mph winds, knocked out power to basically everywhere except Panera, means I've been reading a lot.

The storm damage around town is insane. Trees are down everywhere (including in my backyard). The wind was ridiculous--it looked like a hurricane, with full trash cans (full!) being hurtled through the air, tree branch flying, recycling fluttering about...basically anything that wasn't in a garage was airborne. My power was out only 26.5 hours. There are some people still out, 36 hours later, though most people have had theirs restored by now. The ComEd people have been working like crazy, and utility workers from other states have come to help out--nearly 900,000 people were without power at the height of the outage. Driving around, you can see why. Trees have been toppled from the roots, power line poles are down, trees are on power lines, lines are just broken and hanging around...wow.

So...reading. In the past few weeks, I've read...

The Meaning of Night (A Confession)--a book I didn't want to put down because I kept being surprised by plot twists and character revelations, though the writing style was sometimes tedious.

The Lace Reader--a book recommendation I saw on someone else's facebook page. It was pretty good. Outside my normal genre. The ending was a total surprise to me! I especially enjoyed the "quotes" at the top of each chapter, and how grief played out in the main character's life. And there was a pretty funny (and scarily accurate) quote about how Presbyterians have been trying to live down the PR disaster that is the label "Calvinism" for...ever.

Searching for God Knows What--I was sad that this was not as good as Blue Like Jazz. I really enjoyed BLJ and this was...not it. disappointing, overall, actually. A few worthwhile tidbits, but not enough for me to keep thinking or writing about it. I almost put the book down halfway through, but powered on...I wouldn't say that was a *bad* decision exactly, just that I wish I could have read the second half even faster than I did, because I have a lot of books to read right now and this one didn't top the list of things to spend time on.

Oh God Oh God Oh God!--a re-read for my awesome new book group. This time around I noticed that there aren't any single-young-women essays in this book, which made it feel odd. We had a really great discussion in book group, which cannot be summed up on the blog, so...y'all need to get your own awesome book groups and talk about these things too.

What's the Least I Can Believe and Still Be a Christian?--we are doing an online book group for church, and this is our first book. We're still in the first half (things we do not have to believe) and I find most of the things fairly obvious. I don't know if other people do, though--it's possible that some of these things are revelations for some. The second half of the book is things we apparently do need to believe. I can already tell from skimming the second half that I'm going to have some things to say about that half.

The New Interpreter's Bible--Luke volume. We're re-envisioning the confirmation class experience, and this year we'll be focusing on the gospel according to Luke. So, naturally, being a crazy overachiever, I decided that instead of *just* reading the gospel and the footnotes in the NIB Study Bible, I should read the commentary and reflection in the whole volume. um, this has turned out to be an unreasonable expectation of myself, and I had to abandon it only a couple chapters in. Now I'm only reading the reflections on each chapter, and will return to the commentary as we prepare for each individual lesson throughout the year.

1400

This is my 1400th post on this blog. I've been writing here since May 29, 2002...and in that first post I said that I might sometimes write about the weather, "if it ever changes from cold to hot, because there's nothing in between."

Which is pretty funny, since yesterday (4.18.2011) it SNOWED and today it is cold and gray and rainy and disgusting...but 8 days ago, on the 5th Sunday in Lent, it was 80 degrees. While right now I long for 80 degrees (it's disgusting outside and this weather makes me want to just curl back up in bed), I wouldn't mind some in between. Or just a flat out shift from cold to hot.

It seems that in 9 years and 1400 posts, I'm still saying the same thing. And that thing boils down to three little words: I. Want. Sunshine.

:-)

how I know winter is really here

Every winter is full of firsts, just like every year and every other kind of adventure. The first frost, the first freeze, the first snow, the first falling-down-in-a-parking-lot, etc.

Tonight was the first night that the temperature gauge on my car engine went backwards, showing that even as I drove alone my car was getting colder rather than warming up.

It happens every year, and once winter really gets going it'll happen nearly every day (unless I let my car run for 10 minutes before getting into it...and even then it might happen anyway). But the first time it's always a bit of a shock. One minute there are two or three dots there (it's digital). I'll glance away and look back only to find there's just one dot left. Sometimes it happens at a stoplight--during the time I sit there, my car gets colder. Sometimes it happens while driving (as it did tonight) which is even more shocking somehow. I mean, the car is moving and still getting colder!

Intellectually, I understand how this happens. I realize it often has to do with how high the heater is turned on to defrost the windows. I know about the physics involved.

But it's still shocking when it actually happens.

clouds

We've reached the time of year when it's cloudy almost every day. As I look out my office window this morning, there's gray asphalt and gray sky and even gray-ish barren trees. Once snow falls and then gets old, freezing and re-freezing with dust and dirt and salt inside, it'll be gray ground and gray sky for pretty much all of the foreseeable future.

To say that clouds are not my favorite type of sky-adornment would be an understatement. I love the sun (though it does not love me, thanks to my ridiculously fair skin), I love blue sky, I love to see stars at night and vibrant color in the daytime. But here in the midwest, the blue sky and stars hide behind the clouds for months at a time.

It's not even so much the cold of winter that I find problematic -- though I don't prefer cold! -- it's the drabness. The gray everywhere. But on the other hand, blue skies in winter mean colder days (because the cloud cover does trap the heat a little), so that's a double edged sword. It makes it hard to hate clouds when they keep it slightly warmer, and when they do all their important water recycling work. But still...it's the beginning of the cloudy season, and I miss the sun already.

not playing on purpose

I confess that I didn't play the Friday Five yesterday on purpose. I could have--I have answers for all those questions, I had the free time, etc.

But I didn't do it because I'm just not ready to think about snow yet. The photo there looks exactly like my backyard will look any minute now. The cold and gray and snowy blah of winter is on its way--we've already had a reprieve of almost a month, so I know it's going to be here soon and it's going to last a lot longer than I want it to (I can handle snow and cold and yuck for about 6 weeks...then I'm just annoyed/sad/bitter/frozen).

So I didn't play the Friday Five because maybe if I pretend it's not about to be snow season, it won't come. that works, right?

rain

Usually I am sort of against rain, on philosophical principle. I mean, I get that it's necessary for plants to grow and stuff (and I do love me some fresh-from-the-garden food, including zucchini that seem to double in size after a night of rain), but in terms of mood and productivity, rain is a big downer for me. I dislike rain pretty intensely...which strongly suggests that Seattle was never really the place for me (ha!), and I'm constantly saying to people that I hope never to move back there. At the same time I'd be perfectly willing to move to Portland or Scotland, where it also rains a lot, so maybe there's something else going on there...

Anyway, today it's gray and it's supposed to rain a good portion of the day. This means a couple of things: 1. it will hopefully help cool us down just a tad, and break the humidity ickiness we've had going on; 2. Guinness is not going for a walk today.

Guinness is a Kerry Blue Terrier, feisty and gorgeous and hilarious. He owns my friends Laura and Bruce, who are on vacation in Hawaii, which is why I get to go to Guinness' house and feed him and take him for walks and watch him scarf up baby carrots more enthusiastically than treats. Guinness is a very spirited walker...by which I mean he walks me more than the other way around. So while we could cover the mile loop pretty quickly, doing it in the rain just doesn't sound terribly appealing. It's more likely that I'll attach him to the lead in the backyard and let him run around out there in the rain by himself.

On the bright side, rain will also wash off Guinness' back deck, where he insists on peeing while I'm hooking him to the lead or even to his leash if we're going for a walk. It's better than being so excited he pees in the house, but only by a little. I've been hosing the deck down, but a solid rain will probably do more good.

So there you have it--dogsitting has helped me see the light, and I can now say one good thing about rain. :-)

Hopefully the sun will be back tomorrow.

holy week and other things

Holy Week happened--our progressive-worship (like a progressive dinner, where you all go on to a different place together) Maundy Thursday seems to have worked. The funeral Friday morning happened. The high-church Good Friday with the St. Matthew Passion happened beautifully in spite of my inability to connect what my eyes read with what my mouth was saying.

We somehow managed to slip in 8-10 inches of snow, the plowing service we use at church managed to NOT come and plow the parking lot until we were all already there, and I managed to fall down some steps leaving church last night, bruising my knees. (Thankfully no one saw...it was decidedly un-graceful)

Today it's sort of sunny--the snow is sparkling on my deck. As long as I'm in the house, I don't mind. But it's supposed to snow more tomorrow--all between 3am and 3pm. Just the time when we want it to be snowing, right? Between the snow and spring break we are anticipating lower Easter attendance than usual, but Jesus will come out of the tomb whether the crowds are in the church to welcome him or not.
I think I have a children's time worked out--I just need to do a few things before tomorrow to get ready. I have the makings of green bean casserole waiting for tomorrow. I need potatoes so I can make mashed potatoes. And then everything will be ready and all I have to do is sit on my couch and read a book for the rest of the day.

I'm not sure that's what the early church had in mind when they talked about Quiet Saturday, but it seems perfect to me. It's pretty quiet--the only noise is my water heater (which makes strange noises), my cats, a few birds singing outside (probably asking each other what happened to bring back December in March!), and the sound of me typing...

quiet indeed.

new toy

I finally sucked it up and got wireless internet at my house. That's right, I bought an AirPort Express --which, incidentally, looks almost exactly like my power station, except it has a pretty green light there on the side and also has several ports to plug in things I'm not likely to use, like stereo cables--(this is not to be confused with Airport Express, which is totally different, much larger, and doesn't come anywhere near my house now that I'm not a city-dweller any longer) and now I can be online anywhere in my house. And I don't have to install the modem software on my brand-new 'puter, which is one less thing that could cause it problems, you know?

Anyway, I am now cable-free in my living room. No more need to stretch the ethernet cable across my living room floor. No more need to wish I was in my comfy bed under the covers while playing scrabulous. My beautiful new 'puter and I can go anywhere in the house together.

A very handy thing, given the ice storm that is supposed to be coming through tonight and lingering for a whole day tomorrow, decidedly outstaying its welcome. I hope not to be trapped at home, but if I am...well, I'm wireless. :-)

brief whine

it'll be brief, then over, I promise...

...I do not like rainy summers. I do not like humidity. It's icky outside and I want it to stop. Where are the sunny, warm but not roasting, summer days? where where where? rain rain, go away, and take your stupid humidity and clouds with you.

...I am in need of Senior High Youth Group leaders. I am praying hard that someone will step up and say yes when I ask, but so far....

...Even inside my house is humid and I can't do anything about it. gross.

...I do not like ironing.

...September is only two weeks away. How is that possible? How is one supposed to do all of the tasks required by September in a mere two weeks? (I know, I had all summer....except for the mission trip planning and going, and the week away at the preaching conference with fabulous young women clergy...yeah, all summer. right.)

...I want to eat ice cream every day and not get fat. why is that not possible?

At least it's not polluted and humid like it was in Atlanta. I guess there's an up-side to everything. dumb silver lining.

{end whine}

winter wonderland

it's snowing.
a lot.
and then more.
it's wet and heavy, it's windy, it's getting colder, the roads are nasty.

I do not approve.

It's after Easter, people!

Although, this kind of weather makes more obvious the point from the Christian Century column for Easter Sunday--the fact that Easter comes in spring when everything is renewing and coming back to life makes us vulnerable to thinking that resurrection is part of the natural order, and it's just not. Here we are--mid-April, post-resurrection, and the world is white and cold and dead. But not Jesus!

That's all the thinking I can do for today. It's cold and nasty and it's spring--and that's making me sleepy and brain-tired. So I guess I'll try to do some work....