According to my friend Jonathan...
because, you see, there are all these kids, aged approximately 11.5 to 14, in a small confined area. They will either: a)try to hook up (mate), or b) kill each other. It's like watching the Discovery Channel, only with kids. For 25 continuous hours.
In the case of my kids, we had two near hook-ups, saved by friends (because they were clearly bad: one boy got nicknamed the "sketchyfrenic boy"). No deaths, so far. Thankfully. I don't really know how I would have told the parents when we got back.
News from the land of middle school:
*Jesus is the potato of life. (after talking about Jesus being in the bread from lunch, one girl said he was in the tater tots...then had to be told that they were potato, and proceeded to make up a theory about Jesus being like a potato...)
*Sketchy, like what you do in art. As in shady. As in Eminem.
*"my arm hurts" "well, leave it alone, yo." "i am, I'm just picking at it" (RE: a rugburn)
*plural of "yo" is "yos"
*scorpions in the bathroom are bad.
*when there is a bird in the cabin, you should not shut the door in an attempt to get it out. It will only poo on your bed. (this happened to an 8th grader...)
*campfires that turn into bonfires are bad. the leaders thought we were going to catch the big cross on fire. Instead we only woke up bees and had about 5 kids get stung....
*the point of a keynote is NOT to talk about yourself. Just an FYI.
*God is not fun. Or fun is not God. It's not really clear which. (this was an irritating thing, fyi)
*it's supposed to take about an hour, or just over an hour, to get to the retreat center from the church. it took me about 40 minutes. hmmmm.......
*Arby's curly fries are the best.
The end. for now. :-)