9 days!

 Ok, so....it seems that one of the things it took me until the very end of my 30s to learn is that I may not have actually learned 30 blog-worthy things in this decade. 

Sure, I've learned plenty. I don't mean that to sound arrogant. Rather, I mean...how does one distill thirty things and have them be meaningful enough to actually spend time writing or reading about? 

Not that I think all the things I've managed in the first 12 days or these last 9 will be actually worth spending time writing and reading about. Far from it. (wait for tomorrow's, haha)
In any case, let's call this...during this decade, I learned that sometimes in mid-project, I need a break. And this time I won't promise I'm going to make up the days, because we all know that's not how this is going to go, so I am not going to pretend. That in itself may be a big enough lesson to warrant its own blog post: that it can be okay not to pretend that the break never happened. 

It did happen. And we are in the midst of a global trauma when I have been trying to remind people that our capacity for productivity is not likely to be what it normally is, and it is okay to need a break, to care for ourselves, and to allow space for fallowness where once creativity bubbled. Sometimes we run out of words. And sometimes they will come back in a quick rush that doesn't last as long as we would like, and then we need a nap.

So...mark this past week of blog-silence as: the week I learned to take my own advice, not simply offer it to others.

The poem my friend Elsa sent me for yesterday is basically perfect for this lesson: "After a time" by Luci Shaw. It starts off like this:

After a time of writing

I stop to let my mind breathe.

This is necessary, otherwise

the thoughts turn gray and

drift.

And, well...yep. That's what happened. I'm hopefully back for this home stretch now, though! See you tomorrow.

this is what I look at when I need to let my mind breathe

the best laid plans...

...sometimes have to be sacrificed for sleep.

I had a super profound blog post for today, I swear. But it will have to wait, because I've been fighting to stay awake for an hour already, so I'm about to take my super lame old-lady self to bed before 9...and before I fall asleep on the couch and wake up with a stiff neck and all the lights still on.

If I manage to keep blogging into December, then you can look for the post I think was going to be so profound. I'll mix it in with some kitty news and food pictures, so you can find it easily. ha.

happy last day of November...as we slide headlong into winter, may your holiday season (whichever holiday you may celebrate) be bright. Especially since it's so dark outside.

oops...missed a day!

Yesterday I wasn't quite ready to write a sermon, so I spent the day reading novels.

Yes, novelS, plural. I read two whole books yesterday. Both historical fiction about women...one more a romance novel and the other a well researched imaginative retelling about Napoleon's American sister-in-law whom he refused to recognize.

I also took a nap.

Between these three things, I didn't go to bed until about 1am...and because I was busy reading, I forgot to blog!

So November will go down as ALMOST NaBloPoMo. Hopefully I can manage to get something up the next few days, and there will be just the one lost day.

I have to say--if I'm going to miss a day, I'm glad to have missed it for a day spent in my pajamas, petting cats and reading novels. I am grateful for the leisure to take a whole day without any productivity, for a home that holds heat well, for blankets and more clothes than I need, for cats who snuggle and purr, for plenty of food.

Today: a sermon. I swear. And also Tofurkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, garlic butter crescent rolls... (and who knows, maybe some kind of actual vegetable will happen too.)

There may also be deviled eggs. Because yum.

the good old days

Remember when blogs used to be collections of the stuff that makes up life--mundane, thoughtful, hilarious, sad, whatever--of any length, often dashed off, even? Compared to now when all that stuff has moved to Facebook and Twitter, and blogs are now a real live publishing platform, where people actually make money writing real stuff.

I kind of miss those good old days. The days when I could pop out a few sentences that gave family and friends some insight into my day, while giving me an outlet for whatever random thing I was thinking. Then people would go visit each other's blogs and leave comments, and sometimes whole conversations would happen in the comments, and it was like a little community.

Facebook is kind of like that, I suppose, but it's also not. With a blog, there's the option of short or long, multiple photos or none, links, etc. With FB, not so much--it's really a short-form medium, (though some people do try to write long treatises...then they complain how no one ever comments on their status) and while conversations happen in the comments, it seems less thoughtful/community-oriented somehow.

So, 12 years ago I would have put this on my blog, but today I put it on Facebook:
"this morning I tried to put the cereal in the fridge, and to wash my face with conditioner. Therefore I sat down on the couch with the cats to try to regroup. Now I think I might be ready to try this day again."

The comments are friendly, funny, compassionate, and commiserating. I like the immediacy of the Facebook status. but I also miss the community of blogging. Plus there's something (I haven't quite put my finger on the right way to express this, but I'll try anyway) about the way Facebook delivers things we say...the algorithm means that some people see some things, and others don't, etc. But it also means we don't expend much effort in keeping up. Which can be good--news about friends is right there in front of me. Yet there's something about the almost mindless way we can click the like button or leave a pithy comment that isn't quite the same as the blogging days, when (especially before feed readers became big) we had to make an effort to visit someone's blog. I don't know quite how to say what I mean, but it just feels different.

The rest of my day, for the record, went a lot better. I did some things I've been putting off, and I got some good work done, and had a really good meeting (not something I say very often!). Yes, I ended up eating macaroni and cheese for dinner at 10pm, but at least I didn't find the milk on the cereal shelf...

forgetful

I keep meaning to blog, I really do. I know that "writers write" and that I need to do that, and that it's important for me to blog as a reminder that not everything in life is unbloggable.

But I keep forgetting.

I think my memory has slipped well into middle (or old?)- age long before my chronological age.

Part of the issue is that I'm trying to turn off the computer at 9pm, and lots of nights I don't get home until after that.

Part of the issue is that I keep feeling like I can't write about everything because, well, that's the reality of pastor life sometimes.

But the root of it is that I forget.

SO...remind me, ok? And if you have any suggestions for improving memory (besides Lumosity.com, which I already play almost every day...when I don't forget), I'll take them. :-)

writing writing writing

So, I've done it again. I've accidentally (or by not paying attention) committed myself to a bunch of different things that all require a fair amount of effort, and then I've gone and waited until the week they're due to actually write them. (well, "waited" is probably a strong term. More like "got busy and pushed it to the bottom of the to-do list.")

And now every person who has ever been my roommate, boyfriend, parent, sibling, or close friend is nodding their head in acknowledgement and shaking their head in despair: haven't I managed to grow up or change just a little in all these years?

Apparently not.

So for the next 8 days you'll find me furiously scribbling, frantically typing, and shedding many a tear over the beautiful words that have to be cut to fit a maximum word count or to make something more clear to readers who are not me or my best friend.

Which means one of two things will happen: either I'll blog a lot this week, as a procrastination tool that I can reasonably pretend is "inspiration" or "priming the pump" or something, OR my blog will be completely silent...not because I'm using my time more wisely, but because a blank screen in Word and a blank screen in Blogger are both insurmountable problems.

Having said that, if you want to see some of the work that I did in a similar state of word count despair last year, it's published here.

no excuses

Well, now that the big secret is out, I guess I don't have any good excuses for not blogging. Back when I was worried I'd let something slip, I was pretty quiet. And of course there's still plenty to be careful about, since much of my job involves holding confidences.
However: there's really no excuse for my lame non-writing self. I'm not burned out on writing. I'm not keeping an enormous secret about a new job. I'm not in the middle of any big dramas.
What I AM is a little conflicted about the nature of my blog. I know my family reads it, and they're mostly interested in what I'm doing and various updates like that. I have cats and could easily turn this into a kitty blog (ha). And then there's the stuff I spend most of my time thinking about: church-and-world stuff...and I know I have RevGals and BlogPals and church members who would be probably interested in things I might write about that. Or they might not, but it would probably help me to process.
So how to balance all of these things, without just starting a new blog for each one (too much work)?

I think it's probably going to mean that everyone will have to compromise a little. I know "compromise" is practically a dirty word in our culture right now, but seriously, everyone just get over it. ;-)

So, sometimes my blog will be about cats and how adorable they are (one is on my lap right now, obstructing my access to the keyboard--he does love to snuggle). Sometimes it will be about random stuff I do ("today I sat on the couch and watched 15 episodes of Lost.") Sometimes it will be about churchy stuff (I have been thinking a TON, for instance, about confirmation class--who/what/where/how and mostly WHY).

As a way to sweeten the compromise, I'll see if I can put more pictures in posts. :-)

lots of good intentions...

I keep meaning to blog. I even sometimes write blog posts in my head when something is happening and I want to remember to write about it. But for some reason they never make it out of my head and onto the keyboard/screen. This is not a new phenomenon, of course. And it's not just in blogging, either--I haven't been writing much of anything beyond the sermon lately. Once we sent in the book manuscript (which, for those playing along at home, was 3 months ago), I apparently ran out of words. Or maybe life was beyond the words, somehow.

So...I'm going to try again. Coming soon: the classic "what I did on my summer vacation" post (except that it was a working vacation...but there will be pictures!), contemplating the level of casual violence in our society as seen through the microcosm of Six Flags, and probably some stuff about church and society and culture. And maybe some pictures of the cats. Possibly a book review (you never know!).

And maybe I'll start posting my sermons again too. The last few have been sermons I didn't love, but when they were preached they kinda worked, so perhaps it's time to post them even when I think they might not be good, since apparently (according to John) I have no ability to discern whether my own sermons are good or not. ha.

In the meantime...there is a ton of cuteness over here.

dear internets...

...it's not that I don't love you.

Quite the opposite.

I love you too much, and that means that I do not get enough work done.

And by "not enough work" I mean the three enormous writing projects that are all due in the next 3 weeks. Some of them in the next 4 days. One of them in the next 18 hours.
(which is to say: my regular job gets done just fine. It's the stuff I need to do in addition to all that I'm finding difficult! not to mention that I haven't washed any dishes in a week, nor exercised for several weeks...)

SO: don't take my absence the wrong way. It's just that I have to do a lot of writing, and you are so seductive with your pictures, your interesting articles, your funnies, your pithy sayings. The little blue twitter bird and the red facebook notification bubble are so seductive that I can't help myself. Therefore, I'm going to have to turn you off for a bit. I'll be back, though....I couldn't stay away if I tried.

mwah!

I keep trying...

...and failing to write a blog post. I've started several and deleted them, or they're just languishing in my drafts. Sorry for the blog silence. It's not even for any particular reason, other than that I suppose I don't have much to say.

However, I did get a book contract from Chalice Press to write a book with my best friend Amy, so we are now feverishly writing a book! Sometimes drafts or sections of chapters may make appearances here for feedback, so watch for that.

The working title of the book is And Then We Just Got Really Busy: spirituality for a new generation. Send us good writing vibes!

blog sabbath, accidentally and on purpose

I apparently stopped blogging for a while there. Sorry about that. Nothing in particular happened to cause that...I guess I just didn't have anything to say (or nothing to say that wouldn't get me into trouble!).

but now I'm going on vacation for a week...you can find me on the Vermont Cheese Trail. Back next week. ta!

1400

This is my 1400th post on this blog. I've been writing here since May 29, 2002...and in that first post I said that I might sometimes write about the weather, "if it ever changes from cold to hot, because there's nothing in between."

Which is pretty funny, since yesterday (4.18.2011) it SNOWED and today it is cold and gray and rainy and disgusting...but 8 days ago, on the 5th Sunday in Lent, it was 80 degrees. While right now I long for 80 degrees (it's disgusting outside and this weather makes me want to just curl back up in bed), I wouldn't mind some in between. Or just a flat out shift from cold to hot.

It seems that in 9 years and 1400 posts, I'm still saying the same thing. And that thing boils down to three little words: I. Want. Sunshine.

:-)

playing

I am playing around with a new blog template...now with pages, changeable background pictures, and other fun features. So please...suggestions and feedback are welcome! Especially if you find it hard to read or if colors are confusing or if you can't tell what's a link or any other things like that, please let me know so I can keep updating until it's perfect. Thanks!

going visiting

I'm trying to visit more RevGal blogs more regularly--it's such a wonderful community and I want to be sure others feel that community too, and besides that...I like to know things. That's right, I'm curious and inquisitive and I hate to miss stuff.

So...I've been visiting down the list (we don't have a ring anymore because ringsurf had become a nightmare in more ways than one). I'm trying to read one letter (or sometimes two) per day...so I'm through D right now. It occurred to me that I should perhaps post links to blogs that I find particularly interesting along the way...sort of like the old-fashioned round-up, only more subjective and, frankly, slower since there are so many blogs in the ring now!

So, in no particular order, here are a few of the blogs that caught my eye, or my imagination, or my prayers, in the A-D:

Ciona is in Malawi and is blogging about her adventures, complete with photos!

Karla caught my eye by blogging about sitting around doing nothing on her day off (which is one of the things I also like to do sometimes), and today she has some beautiful and prayer-provoking poetry up.

JJ has been practicing my other favorite thing to do on my day off: get out of town and do something fun...elsewhere!

MperiodPress is having adventures in Italy and in bridges (both physical and metaphorical). I love Rome, so I was excited to read her accounts of the city and her experiences both with the city/culture and with her group and the language and other difficulties.

Kirstin has had some good news and some disappointment, and needs prayers and support and help from people who might be nearby. Warning to people sensitive to cancer issues: Kirstin has cancer and is currently in treatment, and if reading about that is going to be difficult, please just pray for her.

Silent is doing the post-every-day-in-November blogging challenge. I always look forward to the tidbits about BabyGirl and their transition to a new home.

Katherine has posted some adorable Halloween pictures of Juliette, the cutest chicken on the block!

What (or who) have you been reading?

forgetful

Tonight on my way home I thought of something I wanted to blog about.

By the time I got home through a raging thunderstorm and drove through my flooded street, then got inside my house and sat down on the couch with my computer, I couldn't remember.

Then I couldn't keep my eyes open and accidentally napped for almost an hour, including a dream about Anna.

So...sorry, I still can't remember what I planned to blog about, but I'm sure it was riveting.

up for a challenge

Okay, so I need something...something to do over the summer...something that will exercise my brain and my writing and maybe even my imagination...

And then I read both Robin's summer project and this article which makes me a little sad but also gave me an idea.

I think it would be fun to write blog posts (so shorter than an Oxford entrance essay!) that have to be spun out from just a one-word prompt.

That means I need a bunch of prompts, though...so...what word suggestions do y'all have?

hello blog, it's me teri

I need to come up with something to blog about. any ideas?

I'm going on vacation tomorrow...visiting Amy until Saturday night...when I get back, I hope for some ideas about what to say here! I need to write more. so...what shall it be?

for your reading pleasure...

...this is one of the best posts in my long Google Reader list of posts made since I went offline yesterday. It's thought provoking and yummy looking all at the same time!

Okay, I'm going offline again so i can go enjoy the Maine sunshine! ta!

what is a spiritual practice?

Some of you may know that my friend Amy and I have been researching and working and are now finally getting around to writing some stuff for a new book on spirituality for a new generation/young adults. It's very fun to work on, even if it does mean sucking up all my procrastinating tendencies and actually doing stuff.

Well, recently (thanks to reverendmother) I stumbled upon a blog series at Godspace called "what is a spiritual practice?" Lots of different people are contributing essays on spiritual practices, including things like driving, washing the dishes, and yoga. So I thought I'd see if I could excerpt a bit of what I've been working on and send that in...

and here it is! An excerpt of a chapter titled "Between the Sheets" from a book with a title so tentative I'm not going to tell it to you right now...but don't worry, it's awesome.

Be sure to check out the other essays in this series too--they are really good!

home

I got home Saturday night. Still recovering from a week at the youth conference, spent being both the back-home group leader AND a small group leader. Preaching this coming Sunday. Hoping to have head above water any day now....