i have plane tickets.
no thanks to the BUSY SIGNAL at United Airlines Reservations.
whatever happened to the auto system that told me to hold, then played the terribly canned and obnoxious Rhapsody In Blue for an hour, interrupted every few minutes with assurances that my call was important, that i would be helped shortly, and that calls were answered in the order they were received?
i swear, in an attempt to get out of bankruptcy they have let go of every single f***ing person (sorry...) that answers the phone. and we're left instead with the wonderful automaton i've christened "joebob", to whom you talk and who will supposedly find your flight availability but won't be able to actually book a flight for you. instead he encourages you to say "reservations" when you're ready to book, and you'll be transferred to an agent--a real live one. Except that he actually transfers you to a busy signal, and you can't even push buttons to go back to the main menu from there, you have to hang up and start all over again.
whatever.
i recommend the internet. but not if you want to try to use frequent flyer miles to book a non-round-trip ticket. because it doesn't like it when you try to do that.
i really am studying for the test tomorrow. and i really have started on my paper.


ok, so there were two lies in the previous sentence. but i'm going to do both of those right now.

you, United Airlines real-live-reservations agents, are the weakest link.

goodbye.