Monday, October 31, 2005

to mom

I know it's hard.
I know you are in pain and you are sick and you are scared.
I know it sucks not being able to do the things you want to be able to do, or even the things you need to be able to do.
I know it seems like it would be easier to stop.

But please, don't give up. Don't quit. I know you aren't a quitter. Remember when I was in 8th grade and you made me keep playing softball all season even though I hated every second of it? The uniforms, the other girls, the fact that I wasn't good at it, it was all awful. But you said I had made a commitment and you made me keep going. And I managed. You always said that I couldn't be a quitter, that our family isn't made up of quitters.

I know this is awful, and you didn't really make a commitment to this and nothing about it is good. But there is so much to look forward to.

Imagine these things and how much you would like to be there. Make a commitment to be there.
My ordination (maybe only a year or so from now!).
When I manage to get married (well, more than a year, anyway...).
See Scott graduate.
Read Scott's first book--you'll probably get a copy free.
See Max. Hold Max. Read to Max. Listen to Max read to you.
Hear Joseph in fifth grade band.
Love on Sammy and Ollie at the same time (well, I can dream!).

And mom, please, if it really is too much, if it's time, then please know that I love you very much and I'll miss you a lot. I think about you every day and people around the world are praying for you. I hope you have a better day today than yesterday. And if it's time, please tell me. I want to come. I love you.


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