Until I got home, that is, and proceeded to feel like everything was two hours earlier, which meant I was staying up ridiculously late.
And then the time change happened and plunged mornings back into darkness.
And, just to top that off, I've had something at work every night pretty much since I got home--4 (or even 5) nights each week.
I've been sleeping in and working from home in the mornings, but somehow even when I shift an 8-hour work day to the afternoon and evening, it still ends up feeling like I'm working non-stop with no free time. There's something about having the morning free that feels different than having the evening free.
I think I've narrowed it down to two main things...
1. in the morning, I'm not really off, I'm working but in my pajamas with a cup of coffee and a cat. Whereas in the evening, I'm more likely to be on the couch with a glass of wine or some ice cream and a movie or a book...not checking my email, writing liturgy, etc.
2(a). I miss cooking dinner. For some reason, eating breakfast and lunch and then going to work feels less restful and whole-persony to me than cooking and eating dinner does.
2(b). When I get home late, I still want to eat or read or watch a movie or do something like that, which means I'm not going to bed until late...which is perpetuating my general feeling of tiredness, even if I go to bed at 1 and get up at 8 or 9, it still feels weird to never cook dinner at home.
I don't know how people work that second or third shift, because it turns out I really like to make dinner. Something about that is what makes life feel normal and livable and with enough pause/rest to go to the next day.
is there a thing that makes your day feel "normal" (as opposed to "too full")? What is it?
Whether I get an hour to myself in the morning. If I sleep in and then have to start at a run or if I get up, but so does the pre-schooler, the day is too full. I never catch my breath.
ReplyDeleteI get up earlier than I need to, because I need a half an hour with a cup of tea to start my day. Even if that means 4:30 am.
ReplyDeleteMy days frequently start later in the day, since theater work is an evening endeavor. You're right. Mornings off are never really OFF, because there's always emailing to be done, and the nagging consciousness that you have to start working eventually. Lately, I was working on a kid's show, and rehearsals ended at 7pm. It was weird coming home and having several hours left in the evening, and my brain felt like I was "done" working until the next day. Real free time happens at night.