Monday, August 21, 2006

the first of the "one year" posts

Today marked the one year "anniversary" of the last time I saw my mother alive. One year ago (a lot earlier in the morning than this!), Jason and I waved goodbye to my parents at the Yakima airport. We flew to Seattle, then on to Chicago for the YAV orientation which ended with us getting on a plane to Cairo.

I don't think I knew (though maybe some part of me did) that it would be the last time I saw my mom.

It's not the last time I talked to her, though it's close. We talked while I was in orientation, then briefly when I arrived in Cairo, and then not again until October. In October we talked a couple of times, and then she was gone.

It's strange to think that it's been a year since I saw her, since she gave me a hug, since we all cried as I walked through the gate. I hate to think that the last way she saw me was crying. Actually, I hate that there's a "last time" at all, regardless of what we all looked like or were doing.

I don't have anything particularly eloquent to say about this day. It's just the beginning of the one year anniversaries--there are plenty more coming. I miss my mom. I miss her when I cook in her kitchen. I miss her when I have a cooking question. I miss her when I see my brother's friend's parents in the grocery store. I miss her when I see our favorite sub shop has expanded into a chain and is even in the mall food court. I miss her when I want to share good news. And it's only been one year since my last glimpse of a living mom, a year since my last mom hug...what happens when I can't remember what that's like anymore? anyway...that's all I have to say for today.

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