you know, as much as i say i'm happy my clarinet career is ending, and that I'm glad to be done, i'm still kind of sad.
Tonight i had drinks with a couple of friends and our clarinet teacher. now, Julie has been not only my teacher but also a mentor, life advisor, and friend for the last four years. tonight was the last time I'll see her, probably for a while. we had a great talk, which went on for hours longer than any of us expected, and when it was over we hugged, thanked each other for a good four years, and went our separate ways. now i'm so sad i could nearly cry...in fact i might before this post is over!
though i'm quite sure that the clarinet is not what i want to spend my life doing, it is still a big part of me--after all, it's been my life, essentially, for 12 years. and though i'm also quite sure of what i do want to do, i don't want to deny this part of me and claim i'm never going to do it again. So it makes me sad, that i am leaving the clarinet behind a little (or a lot) and that i have to leave my teacher. i guess that's part of growing up--leaving one set of people and moving to another. but that doesn't make it any easier really. I will miss Julie, her bluntness, her caring, her good teaching (she's the best! literally...), the funtime and the stories (some of the ones she told tonight are SO going into a sermon someday!). Julie has helped me grow up these past four years and I am forever indebted to her for being fabulous. and, if nothing else, fear of Julie will keep me right when i do decide to pick up my clarinet and play, even for fun. My embouchure will always be good, my tongue position correct...my hand position impeccable...it's just not possible for me to play the clarinet any other way. thank you julie for being so fab. :-)

speaking of julie's stories: do any of you believe in ghosts? do you have stories about them? julie had some that were VERY convincing. hmm.